vv’s blog

i’m a modern man — a man for the millennium: digital and smoke-free. a diversified multi-cultural post-modern deconstructionist: politically, anatomically and ecologically incorrect. i’ve been uplinked and downloaded, i’ve been inputted and outsourced. i know the upside of downsizing, i know the downside of upgrading. i’m a high-tech low-life. a cutting-edge, state-of-the-art, bi-coastal multi-tasker, and i can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond. i’m new-wave, but i’m old-school, and my inner child is outward-bound. i’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer; voice-activated and biodegradable. i interface with my database (my database is in cyberspace), so i’m interactive, i’m hyperactive, and from time to time i’m radioactive. behind the 8-ball, ahead of the curve, ridin’ the wave, dodgin’ the bullet, pushin’ the envelope. i’m on-point, on-task, on-message, and off-drugs. i’ve got no need for coke and speed; i’ve got no urge to binge and purge. i’m in the moment, on the edge, over the top, but under the radar. a high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary. a street-wise smart bomb. a top-gun bottom-feeder. i wear power ties, i tell power lies, i take power naps, i run victory laps. i’m a totally ongoing bigfoot slamdunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach. a raging workaholic, a working rageaholic; out of rehab and in denial. i’ve got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. you can’t shut me up, you can’t dumb me down. `cause i’m tireless and i’m wireless. i’m an alpha-male on beta-blockers. i’m a non-believer and an over-achiever, laid-back and fashion-forward: upfront, down-home, low-rent, high-maintenance, supersized, longlasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built to last. i’m a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk head case, prematurely post-traumatic. and i have a love child who sends me hate-mail. but i’m feeling, i’m caring, i’m healing, i’m sharing. a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary caregiver. my output is down, but my income is up. i take a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash flow. i read junk mail, i eat junk food, i buy junk bonds, i watch trash sports. i’m gender-specific, captial-intensive, user-friendly and lactose-intolerant. i like rough sex, i like tough love. i use the f-word in my e-mail. and the software on my harddrive is hardcore, no softporn. i bought a microwave at a minimall, i bought a minivan at a megastore. i eat fast food in the slow lane. i’m toll-free, bite-sized, ready-to-wear and i come in all sizes. a fully equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically formulated medical miracle. i’ve been prewashed, precooked, preheated, prescreened, preapproved, prepackaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, doublewrapped, vacuum-packed, and i have unlimited broadband capacity. i’m a rude dude, but i’m the real deal. lean and mean. cocked, locked and ready to rock. rough, tough, and hard to bluff. i take it slow, i go with the flow. i ride with the tide, i’ve got glide in my stride. drivin’ and movin’, sailin’ and spinnin’, jivin’ and groovin’, wailin’ and winnin’. i don’t snooze, so i don’t lose. i keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. i party hearty and lunch time is crunch time. i’m hangin’ in, there ain’t no doubt. and i’m hangin’ tough. over and out.

(related: buzzwords)

This entry was posted on Sunday, September 23rd, 2007 at 6:37 pm and is filed under e-life, fun. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.